I command not. I reprimand not. I lead not. Why on earth have I been elected in such position? I demand not to be but I can't do what I wanted against majority's decision. Honestly, I really am afraid. Afraid from a lot of different consequences this position results to. I can't even remember when I last place my phone, how much for the series of events and things to do which regards to my responsibility. Another thing that frightens me is the failure of my leadership because I am not persuasive at all. I just go with the flow of everybody and it is really a heavy thing for me to stand for my own decision knowing that many might get affected with it. I thought I was brave enough to face a number of trials, but hell no! I am too coward to run from this state. Being under pressure is my weakness, it affects not just my performance but also my personality. At this current, this thing is my fear and my burden.
What I said is bullshit; that's what I think and what I feel, I couldn't go against that. But, I guess I am the real bullshit. People trust me but I don't trust myself. How f*cking idiot am I? They put me in this place because they know I can. God gave me this task because He knows I can. I must deal with this because I think I can.
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